Life is full of surprises!!!

Ok. I meant Surprise Quizzes.

At least my life @ IIM A is.

PS: Too many surprises don't make many more surprises.

Crap

It is in the unlikeliest places that you’ll find the things that you are desperately looking for.

Does the heart know what the head is up to? And vice versa? If they do, then do they concur? If they don’t which one comes out trumps? Maybe I am 2 selves rolled into one. :|

Sometimes we ignore people and do not care. It is not until someone else ignores us that we realize the pain that we similarly inflicted on another.

You come in unannounced. You create questions. And then you walk out. So do I not get a say in anything? Isn't it a violation of my rights?

There is this person that loves you. You are aware of that. But you keep them at a distance but dexterously manage to keep them within your line of vision and still taunt them and ignite new hope. Is there a sadistic pleasure you can derive from that?

Do you look at somebody and think that they do not deserve all that they have? Or maybe that you deserve all that more than that person did? Or maybe been seen in such a way? It is deviously unfathomable that one can think that way, and trust me when I say what I say, there could be nothing more awkward than that.

PS : Some crap I wrote waaayyyy back.

Tips to Bell the CAT

P.S: Wrote this on request. Felt that it would help many if I shared it here.
P.P.S: Use the Toggle screen button on the top right of the Scribd embed box for full screen view.

Contemplations

On the way home from office today, I realized something. It is precisely this time I can consider my “Alone Time” – time I get to be with none other than myself, time to think about self, coupled with a blank, idle mind devoid of work related tensions and with ample time for contemplations.

Done with work for the day, I stumble along the pavement to the bus stop. As I wait for a bus that ain’t crowded or for a cab to arrive, I am usually lost in thought. Probably, I am a thinking person. I do the math -- various permutations and combination -- of the multitude of situations and relationships involving me as also the peripheral ones. Meanwhile, a cab/bus with a vacant window seat comes by and I hop on. I take my seat, unlock the window so as to allow an optimum breeze, arising out of the vehicle in motion, to trickle along the perimeter of my face. And then, inevitably, I get lost in my train of thoughts again.

Does anybody in the world ever care about my existence?
How would it be if I didn’t exist?
What is the very purpose of this existence?
Do I feel like I belong?
Will I ever find anybody who will be my ‘someone special’?
Will I ever be anything other than single?
Will somebody ever feel possessive about me?
Why do I not have anybody to share all my feelings with?
What is it that makes somebody that ‘someone special’?
And the train of thought goes on building………………………

And then I alight from the bus, reach home and find signs of habitation. Lo, Poooffffff.....The thoughts that have built up vaporize all of a sudden and I am restored back to reality, to normalcy.

With just a few more days of office life remaining, as I write this piece, I surely think I will miss my ‘alone time’. Through all the negativism and the emotional turmoil it generates, I always wished I could avoid it. But in laughing at my pitiable state, I have been able to unearth new strengths and extract previously unfound answers about a lot many things. Whether the renowned academic rigour at WIMWI would allow me my share of contemplations daily is to wait and watch for.

Lazy Weekend

It's been a pretty lazy weekend. Just like any other I've had at Bangalore. Earlier it was the weekly Mock CAT, then the preparations for the GD/PI that kept me engaged and made me stay home. Now there is pretty much nothing on my plate but it still is somehow the same.
With just 1 more month left to savor Bangalore, I seriously hoped for some action. But it just isn't destined to be. Initially the weekend was earmarked for a few treats and a couple of parties to attend. But then a sudden, pleasant surprise had me rescheduling, read cancelling, all my previous plans and left me anticipating a fun weekend. But when you make plans, they are bound to get screwed up. It always happens with me. And get screwed, they did. Royally, in fact.
With all plans conking out, I was really left with nothing better to do but watch soaps on my lappy on a "sooper lazy Sunday". Again..... Sigh!!!

The WIMWI dream

Sometimes you dream. Day in Day out. You work hard. But it so happens that your dreams do not fructify. For whatever reasons.

So what next? You either persevere and try hard one more time to let your dreams materialize or else you seek the escape route and aspire for something else.

Getting into the top B schools in the country has always been my dream. After the CAT fiasco last year, I decided not to give CAT again – CAT dumped me once and so I told myself that I hated it. But in actuality, I lost all belief that I could clear CAT and was just seeking the escape route.

But then again, we can never really be the master of our own destiny -- Can we?. Certain circumstances made me rethink my stance. I pushed myself to give CAT again this year. I started preparing in earnest. The resentment towards it easily sobered. Somewhere still, there was this doubt implanted in my mind frame that said I still wouldn’t be able to clear it. Yet, I just egged myself on. I persevered.

There is this amazing quote attributed to Paulo Coelho which goes “When you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true”.

I really wanted to clear CAT. And I gave it my all. The result was a GD/PI call from each of the 6 IIM’s.

Admittedly, the GD/PI scene was an altogether different ball game. A New Arena. Still I held the same mantra. Desire + Hardwork + Perseverance.

After a struggle through the interview season, I now stand with admits from all the IIMs save K. I Finally stand Vindicted.

A dream that has been long in the making has finally been brought to fruition. It still all feels like a hazy dream and the feeling is yet to sink in.

With the choice I had in hand, I wasn’t amazingly spoilt for choice. It had always been about a single entity – IIM A. I knew my destiny. I knew where I'd be going.

IIM A. My destiny. My dream.

So Vastrapur!!! Here I come to live my dream. :)


PS : 1) Dream and then work hard. Nothing is unattainable.

2) WIMWI stands for Well Known Institute of Management in Western India.i.e IIM A

3) GD/PI = Group Discussions/Personal Interview.

IIM GD/PI Experiences

Providing the links for my GD/Essay/PI experiences for admission to the various IIMs for the academic year 2009-11. I've tried to be as detailed as possible.

IIM A Essay/PI Experience

IIM B GD/Summary/PI Experience

IIM C PGDM GD/PI Experience

IIM C PGDCM PI Experience

IIM L Essay/GD/PI Experience

IIM I Essay/GD/PI Experience

IIM K GD/PI Experience

PS : I benefited immensely from reading past interview experiences at Pagalguy. I hope my posts would be of use in a similar fashion. There have also been few individuals wanting to know more about my interviews and hence I am posting them here. Not self propaganda in any way.

Questions???

"Do I love you because you're beautiful,
Or are you beautiful because I love you?
Am I making believe I see in you
A girl too lovely (perfect) to be really true?
Do I want you because you're wonderful
Or are you wonderful because I want you?
Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream
Or are you really as beautiful as you seem?"

Subtly engendering the true feelings of any lovelorn person, this beautiful lyrical composition from Cinderella raises a few alarming questions in my head. The chimera of the perfect person that one falls in love with and the actual person might actually be nowhere remotely similiar (as is mostly the case). So, why create the illusion in the first place?

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

I let go of your hand. I wished I could hold it longer. I just wished.

I pined for you to come back. I was quite sure you would return. “If your love is true, Let go of it. It will surely return back.” So went the saying. That’s what the crappy movies made me believe.

I kept waiting. I still keep waiting. Will you return?

*********************************************

You let go of my hand. Couldn’t you have held it longer? As you unwrapped your fingers along my wrist, I wished for them to stay and strengthen the clasp. Alas, It wasn’t meant to be.

I wished you would understand the hurt. I longed for you to grip my hand again. I waited for a while – It seemed like it were ages.

Then we drifted apart. We still keep drifting apart. Now I can no more see you.

I would do anything to feel the grip of your hand on my wrist. But if I return, will you take me back? Worse still, Will you even be waiting?

Crush

Awesome Song by David Archuleta -- The runner up at American Idol 2008.

Been on my playlist for a long, long time. Hence wanted to share. I suppose every guy would have experienced feelings similiar to the ones in the song -- at least once in their lifetime!!!

I suppose I need to listen to newer songs. Suggestions nebody???

Silent Tears!!!

Every day, I wait for you. You never come.

Yet I persevere. One day I hope you will. With this hope, I live.

The last time I waited through the wee hours of the night. It was freezing. The cold tested my guts. I was frozen to the bone. I could have so easily quit. But then the pain was obscured by the joy in persevering with the thought that you would arrive. You never did.

**********************************************

I could not sleep. You were in all my thoughts. I tried shutting you off my thoughts. I cleared my mind. I assumed I was at peace.

You somehow found the way to claw back.

When did I bestow this power upon you? Never realized all the way, that giving you this power was nothing but losing a few powers myself.

**********************************************

It looked like an old folded piece of paper. I was about to dispose it off in the dustbin. But the writing seemed familiar. I opened the paper. It was one of the many letters you had written.

In flooded a multitude of thoughts. I was caught in a time warp – transporting me along a chain of events that resulted in the letter and the events that ensued thereafter. It still is a distinct memory. I felt like I was in a trance. I scurried out of it.

How a piece of paper could affect me so much still escapes me?

I quickly tore it to shreds and slowly they floated through the air and found their way into the dustbin.

**********************************************

I wake up every morning. The first thing that I come across in the morning is your face. Consider me superstitious. I believe you bring me luck.

I’ve never told this to you.
I’ve always wanted to tell you this. I’ve wanted to tell you this and much more.

But you never gave me the chance.

***********************************************

You are guilty as charged.

I hurt myself. I inflict pain upon myself. You make me do this. The thought of you makes me do this. I journey through a spiral of ache whenever I think of you.

So doesn’t that make you the culprit?

***********************************************

You passed by. You never even noticed. I thought that was an anomaly.

The next time too, you did the same. I still wanted to consider it an aberration. Maybe you were pre-occupied with something else. One part of me told that everything wasn’t quite right but another part of me just refused to listen.

You do that even to this day. The two parts inside of me still conflict. When will you realize my existence and put an end to this tussle?