Candid Confessions -- Have I hit NADIR???

>>---> Unenthusiastic(adj)
apathetic, indifferent, unresponsive, lukewarm, half-hearted, subdued, cool, unimpressed, unexcited, uninterested

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No GRE Preparation that one. 'Twas my status message in Gtalk a few days back!!!

Have you ever felt so damn tied down with work and yet felt like you don't really want to move a finger but just relax??? If you'd ever felt that way, you would understand what my status was trying to convey. When a friend who was online asked me what I was up to, I quickly lamented "No work" while I actually meant, "Lots of work to do, dude, but zilch tempo".

Well, Sample My Workload -- 2 Term Papers, 1 B Plan submission, 1 Project Report, 3 Class Tests and One Huge MATLAB Program all in the span of a week. All I do is sit in front of computer doing absolutely random crap or loiter around the corridor just hoping the mood to complete (or start) the work just pops out of nowhere. Wonder how that's feasible??? I need someone to fix my mind. Anyone out there to help fix it???

>>---> One of my childhood pals reminded me the other day how down in the dumps and sulky I have been behaving of late. He says “You’ve put a plug to all your humour channels."(Wonder if I had one in the first place, though the way he was talking, he meant I had many :D) "Creativity is an offspring of humour", he goes on. So he says he notices a dearth of creativity and humour in all my actions, writings and thoughts..... I just sighed. He at least meant I had been funny and witty and creative for some part of my life.

>>---> I used to pride myself over having a strong memory..... Well, Not anymore!!! I was in a quiz the last week when a few questions I'd heard before popped up. However hard I tried, I couldn't just recall the answers. Just as the quiz master gave out the answer, I'd gasp and let out a "Ptch....Shit, I knew this. Should have got it". Damn!!!

>>---> My tummy's looking like it's going to explode. Well, what else do you expect when you gorge twice a day at the very many Nescafe outlets that have mushroomed in the campus? This puff, That sandwich, This tart, That muffin and what not, finally washed down with a refreshingly chilled Ice Tea. No lunch, No supper in our rotten mess. Just Nescafe!!! My taste buds are having a blast while my pockets are getting blasted..... Damn big hole I can see already.

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POWER is like doing DRUGS

"Power tends to corrupt.
Absolute power Corrupts absolutely."

Just the slightest hint of power seems to set off a chemical reaction in the head of any/every person bestowed with it. It's hard to stay away from sinning as a result of that "Chemical Locha". Even if it is just trivial powers you have, I'd bet, it is insanely impossible to prevent yourself from nepotism, swindling as well as quite hard maintaining a docile head all through.

Power is like doing drugs.
Once you've had little, you want more.
Once you've had it, you're no more YOU.

The past few months, I've accidentally stumbled upon seemingly innocuous and nice people -- I'd have vouched for their sincerity and steadfastness before they were in power --, being the cause of some astonishingly unimaginable acts, after power had been thrust on them. Power can change most people -- 180 degree the persona changes. One just can't help.

Those already corrupt and knowing the privileges power carries along with it go to any depths to possess it. I don't want to get any controversial but then a respectable college going guy cleaning seniors' plates for being a part of a committee of 20 people. Just Yuck!!! It's so demeaning oneself. Surely there must be better ways of making it to the destination. And if there aren't any, it only means that the system is highly flawed and needs a change.

So those of you who have mistakenly stumbled upon this and might assume "Power" in the near future -- Just review your self every now and then once you get the clout in your hands and please do keep the degree of nepotism, swindling and all that down to the bare minimum and more importantly, you would do with a sane head on your shoulders, because as I already emphasized power corrupts anybody -- You, Me or Anybody else on Planet Earth.

P.S: Power hasn't spared me either. Being the SPL (School Pupil Leader) in my class 10, I used to favour my friends in many aspects -- guilty on several charges of nepotism.

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Peace of Mind

Life offers some funny twists along it's path. It's imperative that life doesn't provide everything on a platter but then little do we realize that very fact. Of late, the innumerable twists and turns that have engulfed my life have left me bewildered.

I have been befuddled with a stream of such nasty twists -- never before did I witness such a sudden spurt of tricky situations. At first, it seemed kind of awkward. Then, to add to that, my reactions to these intricacies defied all logic. Maybe the shocking nature of these petty convolutions agitated me and pretty upset me leading to those diverse, extreme, unsolicited responses.

I haven't been the same since. Lost in Thoughts.

So many questions float in the air. Concentration has been wavering since. So the march begins to set things right.

Before I attempt putting things back on the right track, I still have many unanswered questions.

What is it that I want ???
What have I set out to achieve???
What will be the aftermath of my decisions???

Nothing is clear. Yet I am determined. I don't want trivial unimportant issues to ruin the big picture.

Still in the elusive search for PEACE OF MIND...........

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So Sweet

Someone just told me something so very sweet!!! So very adoring and so very cute!!! Yeah, actually something about me............, yes ME !!!

It is moments like this that brighten up my Life and make it worthwhile. Suddenly makes me realize somebody does appreciate me for what I am and for what I have been.... And Thank You so very much for livening up my everything and assuring that I am not all that bad a person I conjure myself to be!!! More importantly, letting me know what you feel..........

Sounds Cliched. Can't help. Too excited right now............

P.S : Typed out a few hours back. Delayed posting it on the blog.

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MASS BUNK

Finally!!!
My first MASS BUNK in Kgp. And it's taken 3 years. 3 long years.
Feels good. Feels I've(We've) achieved something. And I seriously don't understand why I am feeling that way.

We had our ED(Engineering Drawing) Lab of our Machine Design Course scheduled at 14:00hrs today. Most of us were in the drawing room(our lab) by around 14:10hrs. The professor arrived at 14:20hrs and wrote down a screwjack design problem on the board. He then proceeded to give some instructions and then left us with work on our hands and said he'd be back after sometime. Not one of us had a smidgen of an idea as to what was to be done regards the problem. 5 minutes passed.... and everyone of us was out of the room, sipping coffee at the Nescafe outlet. Another 5 minutes later everyone was on their way back to the room. I guess, as I type this stuff out, the professor must have just gone back to the room to see our progress. Would like to have a look at his expression for once!!!
It might not be quite right to feel so exhilarated but then most of my friends in non-IIT colleges do boast of having mass bunked very many classes. So now I got something to speak of when they begin to brag about bunking and mass bunking. Maybe my animation right now stems from my having attained those bragging rights as well.

On a totally unconnected note, I broke my spectacles yesterday while practicing for the Inter-Hall Basketball tourney. That reminds me, I was detected with myopia when I was in class 4. I've been wearing spectacles since.
I hated my glasses in the beginning. They actually brought on many nicknames and I hated my glasses for bringing me such misery. But I grew used to them(both the glasses and the nicks) and gradually started loving my specs. I can't imagine a day without them. (Yeah, I can't see anything without them for sure ;) I just wanted to put that differently.) I love them.
I had 2 spares ready. And while I was digging my cupboard and bags for the spares, I found 2 other broken ones as well as a pair of contacts to go with my spares. I haven't used contacts just for the reason that I need to feel some weight on my nose. I've become so very used to spectacles. Love you. So now I have 3 glasses for repair. Whoa!!!

Another thing I'd read just recently and wanted to share here -- This article in IIT-B's student paper. Most IITians will surely find some common chord with the feelings of the author. At least, I felt quite bitter while I was reading this. You might not agree upon wholly with what he says, but then it would be rather foolish to discard all of what he states as being ridiculous and trashy. According to me, the system does need a change -- both the professors and the students as well. A lot of mindsets need to be changed as well and drastically at that.

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Varied Hues of Life !!!

Life is so colourful. My saying that wouldn't be much of a surprise, given today is Holi -- The festival soaked with colours and to me, more the festival of freeing the spirit and revelling in the joy of it.

It's my 3rd Holi here at Kgp and maybe that was why I wasn't so very enthusiastic about it this year. So were a few other friends who'd, I might say become used to hullabaloo surrounding the event every year. So with kind of dampened spirits we just strode out, got our shirts torn (This time my shorts were spared however) and had a few photos taken. Mild Fun, I must say!!!

If Holi wasn't that fabulous, then why was I ranting about Life being so colorful??? Well, it has to do with the various other happenings in my life. And don't be mislead. Colourful doesn't always need to mean groundbreaking achievements or shout aloud stories. Just having had a myriad of emotions to go through and also a mix of events taking place made me wonder truly how varied, multi-layered and multi-coloured LIFE was turning out to be.

This summer, am headed to TATA ELXSI, Bangalore for my 2 month summer internship. It wasn't my preferred destination in any case but then that was the best intern in Bangalore that my CG could garner me. How I finally got to choose ELXSI can form the basis for another post -- a long story. There were just four guys ahead of me on the CG basis and four of them grabbed all the companies in Bangalore that paid heavily. Heights of BAD LUCK, you can say!!! Am Bestowed with loads of that. At first, I was cursing my fate, my non-commitment to studies during the first and second years and what not. But then as time goes by, I realize I am not in a bad spot after all. I am beginning to like what I got -- not that I am forcing myself to. It's just that their field of work and their workplace excite me. So finally no qualms and it's a nice feeling!!! :)
And do check out their website. I started loving the company once I saw the website!!!

Another achievement I must rant about here is my getting insanely high marks in a mid-semester examination in KGP. This midsem I almost had a cent percent score in a subject in which I badly wanted to score. A FIRST for me in many respects (in KGP). A huge MORALE BOOSTER for my endsems, but I better hope the other subjects that I'd not performed satisfactorily won't turn out to ruin my party.

Project work is on in FULL SWING!!! Deadlines to match and Loads of stuff to read. Only the mind is not willing to co-operate. I was googling and downloading stuff for my project having bunked the InterHall Basketball practice, hoping to find something substantial for my project and lo, I am here blogging it out. Which reminds me of tomorrow's deadline. So let me bid goodbye and get back to doing something more purposeful.

Auf Widersehen.

And hope to blog more regularly (and hopefully not morose stuff like this!!!)

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St.Valentine must probably be turning in his grave!!!

St.Valentine was never a messiah for love..... There are numerous versions of how the day came into being. And there are an equal number of stories about the history of the day.

I was browsing for the actual history of the day when I found this link and many more such. The article on Wiki does not show a unique legend on whose name this day is celebrated. There seem to a fairly large number of St.Valentines or Mr.Valentines. Quite surprised infact, that such a widely celebrated day does not even have accurate history. All botched and made up for the convenience of a certain few commercial ventures/brands that make the most out of mislead people.

Of all the stories I came across, I'd prefer to believe the one about Valentine performing marriages when they were deemed illegal and hence being beheaded. He secretly married couples when marriage was forbidden by the Roman emperor and he was beheaded on this day.

It isn't a bad thing to celebrate LOVE. But these days, People use his name and create a lot of brouhaha and ruckus about being in love and use his name(and in particular this day) to do all sorts of rubbish. So, I guess, he must literally be at unrest in his grave as to how unimaginatively his name and intentions are being misused disguising lust and infatuation as love...................

P.S : Well, it isn't the frustration of not having a Valentine that I am showing off here. I am single and I am fine with it. All I am irked at is the non-sense I've seen people do on this day...... Literally!!!