Virtual Spaces and Reality!!!

"With you around me(in virtual space, yeah) life was so much easy, so much fun, so much to look forward to.
Now that you are no more near(in soul perhaps) I miss you, I miss the very thought of you."

P.S : Wow!!! There it goes, off my chest!!!
Never thought I'd ever express it, let alone feel that way. Life can get so filmy, duh.

Down Memory Lane

RK Hall, Main Building, Dost Log(Couldn't get all in one),Mech Dep

As 4 years of IIT draw to a close (and as the final end sems draw near), it feels apt to take a trip down nostalgia lane. 4 years ago, I set foot into IIT with starry eyes and lofty ambitions. Will that 'ME' be satisfied with the 'ME' that is all set to roll out of this place??? So much has happened over the course of 4 years that I feel it should all be chronicled.

Had fun. Had mastooo fun. Awesome Section 8 in the first year. Made great friends. Bunked a lot of classes. Nasty NCC camp. Movie sessions in my room. Learnt cards games (Rummy and Bluff). Helped friends copy during exams. Supercool Darjeeling Trip. Steeled the rigorous OP period. Watched tonnes and tonnes of movies. Lost track of time playing QuizRoom1 -- Jumble + Trivia. Basketball. Exacting Mech dep courses. Put fight for a girlfriend -- No Luck. Vizag Steel Plant Intern. Gajuwaka Theaters rounded off. Lonely Hyundai Internship. Quizzed a lot. Won a number of prizes Quizzing. Made great, great friends (re emphasis). Sweated out hard for grades. Kshitij rocked. Intern Rocked. 'Twas Mall Time at Bangalore. Mysore-Ooty Trip was fun. Gobbled dozens of novels. SitComs on the Lan. BTP Toil. Spent Endless hours in QuizRoom2 -- Guess the Word. Flunked CAT. Landed a Job. Hosted Friends at home. Kalingapatnam beach trip rocked. Treats and Treats and Treats. Had fun. Put fight for a girlfriend -- No Luck. Farewells. Best outgoing Techie. Respect, perhaps. BTP Load again. Awaiting the future.
(to follow....... Last End sems, Grand Viva, B Tech Project presentation)
(in chronological order)

I've laughed and I've cried at times over the years here.
I've consoled and I've been pacified.
I've vented my ire and at times have been at the recieving end of it.
I've felt down and out at times and I've felt exuberant too.
I've worked hard and have also lazed a lot.
I've experienced success as well as failure in equal doses.
But, I've loved every moment of my stay here at IIT, Kharagpur and all that this place has thrown at me and taught me along the way. I wouldn't want to imagine these 4 years having gone by any other way.

Vindication

April 2005
RK HALL TEA PARTY FOR THE INCOMING BATCH

Screaming Seniors. Their unending devotion for the hall showing. Devotion, teetering on the edge of Jingoism. Endless Gyaan. Speeches and unending Homilies concerning the General Championships, Hall Traditions and Hall Tempo. Chaos and Hullaballoo.

Amidst all this, I can't help but notice the Awards boards perched alongside a portrait of Dr.RadhaKrishnan. And what a difference these boards made to the ambience of the entire place. The entire foyer though rustic, seemed awe-inspiring. I remember standing there reading a few names immortalized on those boards for posterity and I quietly wondered.......

Circa April 2008
RK HALL FAREWELL TO THE OUTGOING BATCH

Best Outgoing Technology Student.
Surprise, Elation, Satisfaction.

A 3 year old dream come true.

It's been one hell of a ride in RK Hall. Thanks for the accolade, mates and this award also futher vindicates my belief that if we discharge our duties to the best of our abilities, the recognition and the adulations will automatically follow.

The plaque besides my Lappy :)

Staring down the Abyss

Hermetic.
Claustrophobic.
Petrified.

Couldn't find "One word" that could embody all that I am feeling right now. The English Lexicon still needs expansion. What's your say???

Just like with every other semester ending, I see humongous deadlines, submissions, exams and coupled with these, the rat race to stay ahead of competition. Just fathom this -- BTP, Grand Viva and EndSems. And with the kind of preparation that I have had so far, it doesn't need a psychiatrist to figure out the state of my mind right now.

Just imagine staring down the Abyss and waiting to take the (inevitable) plunge.

P.S : Did I hear Exequies, anyone???

"Whenever a door closes, there's a new one that opens."

It's upto you to find out which one and where. Period.

Placement Chronicles

November 4

Huge B’day Bash. (Check Flickr for pics) CAT Prep reaching a crescendo.

Your's truly..... :P

November 4 -- SIMShock by IMS

Shocked to the core. Miss the cut offs in all 3 sections by a small margin.

Shivers down the spine. Frustration sets in. Whole CAT preparation appears to be in shambles.

November 13 -- Last SIMCAT
After almost giving up on CAT, this one provides a small ray of hope. Score 40% in each section and end up at 99.5 percentile.

Boosts the morale and lifts up the sagging spirits.

November 20 -- CAT @ Kolkata
The Grand Debacle. Seemed like the worst nightmare. Forget to mark a few answers on the OMR sheet

November 20^th night
2 End Semester Exams the next day and about 10 hours on hand to recuperate from the CAT shock and prepare for them after a rigorous train journey and to catch sleep in the said duration as well.

November 21^st
Abysmal performance in the Systems and Control paper. (Later to be “awarded” my first 'P' grade in Kgp) All the people around me keep scribbling away while I find it hard to navigate the 3 hours time.

Recede into a shell of despair and helplessness. Unable to face myself, my parents and all dreams lie shattered. Self-doubts begin to rise before I quash some of my fears and resolutely decide to get on with LIFE.

December 1^st
Placements get underway at the other IIT’s – Bombay and Chennai. Stats and updates from friends at the other institute augments expectations and creates new apprehensions.

December 2^nd
The day before D-day. Placements to start the next day. Seven companies on Day One. Didn’t apply for Schlums, McKinsey(Sure that I wouldn’t be shortlisted). Couldn’t get through Deutsche Bank’s Written test and Capital One’s written test too (This one was a surprise). Not shortlisted in Lehmann Brothers. (Most still can’t fathom why they didn’t get shortlisted) That left me shortlisted in ITC(CG based) and Procter & Gamble (After a written test followed by an online Psychometric Analysis). Assure myself that I can do well and that the fewer companies would mean lesser pressure.

December 3^rd D-Day
ITC GD starts at 12. Perform reasonably well in the GD. Was a relatively straightforward Case Study. 2 females in my group keep snubbing the others and are very keen to voice their opinions. I raise a few valid points and come out quite satisfied with my performance.

P&G calls me for the first interview at 2:00. 45 minutes of HR interview. Was asked endless experiences to quote – like situations where I worked in a group, solved inter personal problems, where my idea was applauded, my this and my that. The interviewer appears mighty pleased with my answers and I can see a smile across his face. Just get the feeling that P&G might actually........

Not shortlisted for ITC interviews. Justified given that they were looking at the whole package and having about 4 people ahead on the CG scale from the same branch didn’t help either. Still had one more interview to go, at P&G and I wanted to concentrate on that.

4 hours since my first interview at P&G and I’m still not called on for my 2^nd while I can see people who’ve come after me finish both their interviews and leave. Why I wasn't called etc. aren't the stuff meant for open discussion and the reasons are best left unsaid.

Reach my room – dead tired and exhausted – and I take a quick nap. Suddenly I get a call from P&G calling me for my 2^nd interview. A new hope glimmers. I suddenly get dressed into my formals and rush on my cycle. The first interviewer was visibly pleased seeing me and I’m sure he was the one that called me back. The 2^nd interview was drag – It was the last interview of day one and the interviewers had to abandon their dinner and interview me. Even I was drowsy and dazed & by that time I was visibly displeased with P&G. I did not expect to make it through P&G nor did I actually want to be placed there.

End of Day Zero

December 4^th Day One
DE Shaw, ZS Associates, Inductis and Fair Isaac.

DE Shaw test early in the morning. S/W section was hardcore. The algorithm section and Math were a breeze.

ZS Group Discussion at 11. With the risk of sounding too preposterous, I felt that I was the best participant in the group and easily deserved to be through.

I move over to Fair Isaac where I get to know I was shortlisted for Quality Assurance Profile. So I decide to take off from there.

Inductis interviews start. Hardcore Puzzles and Probability – Not my cuppa tea. Yet I do reasonably well. Each interview takes one and a half hour. Its 4:00 by the time two interviews are up.

Get to know ZS ditched me. (Maybe I shouldn’t have told them I had 3 other companies that day) On expected lines, DE Shaw doesn’t shortlist me either.

I get a call from FAIR ISAAC and with me running out of options, I move there and 4:30 begins my first interview. The interviewer asks me to describe about myself and I do well. He then peruses my resume and asks me about my role in Quizzing at Kgp. Then he proceeds to ask me a few questions –similar to a rapid fire round with 15 questions hurled at me in just over a minute. I answer them all.

Nokia’s country of Origin. It’s earlier business. History behind the name Adidas, Motorola. About Puma. About IBM. The next question I get -- “What’s your IQ???”

That instant I knew I was through. I asked for a change in the profile, (I’m glad I asked that) which he obliged. Then a few more questions on algorithms and puzzles. Then another small interview with algos and puzzles.

I move back to Inductis and again make the cardinal sin of informing the interviewer that I was almost through FI. This time the interview gets real real hard. The interviewer is sure I would ditch his company over FI and instead, he dumps me.

So finally I’m down to the end of day one and I’ve Fair Isaac offering me a software job. I call up home and they want me to take the first job offered to me.

I move over to FI and complete my other 2 interviews which were mere formalities and proceed to accept their offer.

Still in a daze and tired from the 2 day strain, I head back to my room. News trickles to my wingies that I’m placed. Congratulatory messages all around. It wasn’t how I’d expected it to be.

No triumphant displays of victory. No heart warming celebrations. No howling. No joyous screams. No sense of Accomplishment. Just Listlessness. Languor. Totally Energy Sapped. Just a bundle of relief. A huge sense of relief that I don't have to get my formals washed again, better, not wear them again for some time.

2 harrowing days. Zillions of lessons learnt. A Huge Humbling Experience. With a bittersweet ending.

I just inform my parents and my best friend that I’m placed. Only 2 or 3 days after the feeling seeps in, I call up all my friends and inform them.

December 8^th – January 2^nd
Festive atmosphere at home. Some of my dearest friends from KGP come over to my place and we have a gr8 time.

Dad & Mom take great pride in announcing the news to the World. But I’m already looking forward to the CAT results and prepare my parents to accept the worst.

January 8^th -- CAT results
As expected, my marks aren’t anywhere near the cut offs. But then surprisingly – mostly to my surprise—I take the results particularly well. No bad feelings. Just learning from my mistakes and hope to do well the next time I give CAT. Also decide to give my GMAT.

Life balances everything, I guess.
Victories and Defeats.
Joys and Sorrows.

How intriguing is the Flow of Life. We just need to go along with it. Right now, I'd like to believe whatever is bestowed upon us by LIFE is what actually is best suited for us. Period.

Read My Mind

Ceaseless Doubts. Vacillating Thoughts.
Last Minute Hiccups. Scares and Alarms.
Puerile Distractions. Shaken Convictions.
Panic set in. Turmoil within.
Ego Deflated. As the Final Ride Begins.

Summoning Courage. Beckoning Calm.
I ride ahead. Weathering the Storm.

Under the Realization,
that the Outcome doesn't matter,
Once you've done your part!!!

Exam Induced Rest

I sure want to write about lots of stuff. But then, I really wonder if there is no time at all to pen down a few thoughts......

After the rigors of a MidSem Examination, I cannot think of anything else but rest the mind and give it some respite -- it deserves that I guess. As regards my performance, maybe the exams were just mediocre in every sense of the word but then I racked my brains damn hard and hence the well deserved breather.

P.S : Rest included completing 2 seasons of 'How I met your mother' -- Awesome Barney
A few P G Wodehouse Shorties -- Great Humour, Great Writing
Lil' bit of Freakonomics -- I haven't completed it yet :O
Scanning for new sitcoms -- Ventured into WonderYears, Joey, Gossip Girl, Rules of Engagement but honestly, I didn't like any.
Rummaging for Modern Rock Songs
And then hours and hours together on ''Quizroom2" on DC++ -- Awesome Place for Vocab enthusiasts. Whoa!!! This place rocks.

And here's a cute lil' game on the net I've been playin'.

I'd better get back to completing the code I'd have to submit tomorrow for the Evolutionary Computing Lab {Trust me, the course is as boring as the course name sounds interesting}. And btw, Rest Time's Over.

Nothing's goin' right

-- A switch in the LAN box trips and the whole wing is mired in darkness ( I mean disconnected from the rest of the world) for one whole week :O No mails, no DC++, no quizroom. For my wingies there is no Orkut, no CS, no AOE. It's worse than being starved.
-- It's my project guide's course and I turn up without doing my assignment. I botch up something clumsily on paper, create a few equations out of thin air, as he arrives checking. He notices the gibberish in my notebook and displays a stern face. What does that mean???
-- I do a little project work on my comp and the comp seems to have aged. Running a slightly cumbersome image conversion program crashes the system and restarts involuntarily. Should I get myself a laptop???
-- I meet my project guide almost after a gap of 20 days and all he says is "Keep meeting me now and then man."
-- I meet my guide for the 4th time in almost a week and he mistakes my aim at redemption for wanting more work and dumps a huge project onto me. What a pity!!! Now I have to work atleast 6 hours a week in the lab. Thank God, it's still coding that I get to do.
-- The first simulated CAT exam and I mess up while blackening the ovals on the OMR sheet.
-- The LAN starts working after a week and I open my inbox to find it empty :O
-- I take up a tag by TF and once Scribefire crashes and the other time the computer reboots for no reason. Rewrote it again from scratch.

Life's turning out quite Crazy. Huge workload and confusing schedules. Priorities keep changing by the minute. I do not know what to do.
I hate my life. Period. As I was telling mom the other day, 96 hours a day still wouldn't suffice to get me complete my work.
And again, I haven't been this busy in years. So I guess I am enjoying it as well. I love my life. How Ironic is that??? Or how much more INSANE can I get???

Hmmmph.....

Yaay!!! The Competitive Streak in ME is still alive !!!

Alas, the Hardworking Me is Dead. Period.

P.S: Sadly True :(
I need a kick in the arse to get me started.
Dude,Wake Up!!!

The Impregnable Fortress

Another semester has arrived and we are back to the customary routine. How easily we slip into the routine after a lazy holiday still astounds me.

Just like every other semester, this one too promises to be a harbinger of many good things, nay great things -- I am just required to put in the requisite hard work. Pronouncing this sem the key to my entire future would be making an understatement. With my GRE scheduled for October and then CAT for November followed by the Placement season all December, this one promises to be a make or break sem. My entire future hinges on these few months ahead.

So for now, all I am doing is HOPE -- hope that everything turns out right. Here I can't refrain from this inspirational quote from one of my favourite movies of all time, The Shawshank Redemption -- Andy Dufresne's immortal lines to Red.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

So, as I sign off with Hope, wish me luck, my friends, in my endeavours.

Song in the background : Umbrella by Rihanna feat. Jay-Z

P.S: Oops!!! I almost forgot. The title......
The Impregnable Fortress = a 9 point SGPA
This is something that I have come so close to achieving the last two sems but one which still conveniently eludes me. I still have 2 more shots at it though-- still it feels a lil' painful having 'just' missed the mark, twice at that.

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Oh.... Wow O Wow !!!

This feels real good. A Huge Morale Booster especially at a time when I am pondering at all the unwise steps I took during the course of my life.

The Outlook-CNN-IBN poll places IIT Kharagpur back at the Numero Uno position in the Engineering College rankings. Back to the top. I still remember those message T-shirts junta used to flaunt when I was in my first year, proudly proclaiming, "IIT Kgp....Lonely at the Top" . Then there was the fall from grace!!! Slowly the tees vanished too.

I still cannot comprehend how these rankings are done and how the jugglery of the top 5 IIT's can happen in the rankings each year when there isn't much of a change in the way each IIT functions. Maybe just a little bit of infrastructure addition -- which appears to be of the same magnitude in all the IIT's because they have very similar fund allocations. How much ever the rankings and the ranking system may puzzle me, it is so refreshing to see my dear insti back at the top of the ladder. All I needed was a reason to move out of the gloominess and what better reason than this. Has pepped up my spirits and got me kicking.

Addendum: As if one isn't sufficient, here goes another--The Dataquest Rankings where IIT Kgp again tops the charts. :)

Further Snippets -- Bangalore Life

Today signals the completion of 4 weeks(that's one half of my expected stay) of my work here @ Tata ELXSI, the -- The odd Elxsi is a Singaporean company that ventured into a joint venture with the Tata's and then slipped off into oblivion, but the name sounding different and maybe, posh, hung on. Considering the fact that at almost exactly the same time of the year last year, I was wriggling and writhing to get out of Vizag Steel Plant and Hyundai Motors India Ltd, painfully counting the days left out of the 3 week and 2 week schedule respectively, this is a huge huge improvement given that I am looking forward to the next 4 weeks. Great going, I must say.
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Weekends have gotten so stereotypical what with Bangalore having just malls, malls and more malls, and mind you, nothing else. It's Saturday and so we rush to the Inox theater @ Garuda Mall, to catch a 10:00 AM show. That's the only show on the weekends available for less than a 100 bucks, 99 to be exact. Venture out in the afternoon and the rates escalate to 200. Now don't count me out for being a miser, but then I simply don't think it's worth it spending 200 bucks on a movie -- a gamble on 2 or more precious hours of your life without the surety that you wouldn't run a headache at the end of it all.
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After the movie, we are off to some restaurant and after that, we lazily roam about the streets before hitting another mall, where a Landmark or a Crossword consumes most of our time. Ah!!! Bliss it is to spend some time in the company of books, wanting to buy this and that and everything. Reading a few passages from those that you happen to lay your eyes on and getting the mind into a fix deciding as to which book to take along with you to provide companionship and solace for the week and which to discard for some other time.
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After I reach back home in the night after some frantic window shopping at the malls, its time to hit the bed. Sundays, I mostly have some carried over work from office. So Sunday is for a little bit of rest at home and spending time with "F.R.I.E.N.D.S" and Seinfeld.
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Last week, we'd been to see 'Cheeni Kum' -- the best romantic comedy ever made in Hindi. Awesome dialogues, Characters one could so easily relate to, Sharp witted humour matched with great performances by the cast. Go watch it -- You'll love the jokes on chhatris and chachas, few scenes that will linger in your head for a long, long time. Though I must admit the second half was bland, boring and not even half as energy filled as the first one. Well, you have to admit though, you can't not have some dramabaazi and expect a saccharine comedy all through. It has to meander to an end somewhere. This week, its Pirates of the Caribbean.
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Last Sunday, The outgoing batch of 2001 of St John's, Gannavaram had a get together, a reunion. And guess who was missing??? Yours truly, Me!!! Oh!!! How I missed not being able to go there. I was working on my presentation for Monday when guys called up and talked to me. I was completely put off-- mood out -- for 2 hours and had to roll up in my cot to get that bad feeling out. Seeing the photos on the group makes me more jealous. Guess all of them had a jolly good time. Pesky Little Brats, all grown-ups now -- Miss you all so much.
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Coming to the HUGEST thing that happened to me at my workplace. My first BIG presentation in office. Note the keyword -- BIG. BIG doesn't exactly capture the magnitude of vastness, the hugeness of the presentation. It was colossal in many ways. Highly designated people among the audience. (Huge Play of Nerves on my part. You'd expect that naturally. Slipped on fine into my presenter's role after the first 2 minutes.) Twitched eyebrows. Stoic expressions. Questions all over in the air. Suggestions flew thick and fast. Scampered solutions. (I had to make up many, on-the-spot.) It was more of a brainstorming session that went on for 2 hours. And at the end of it all, all I had was lot of feedback, little bit of appreciation and much more work to do.
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CGPA, Cumulative Grade Point Average, and SGPA, Semester Grade Point Average, are huge depressants, I learnt yesterday. I was thinking about these after a long long time and the very mention of those dreaded words sent shivers down my spine. I could no more do any work. It spilled into a headache and I had to take permission yesterday to take the afternoon off -- I had the feeling that my head was about to burst from pressure. How my life revolves around my CGPA at this instant. Which brings me back to the cliched phrase -- How I wish I knew it's importance the moment I entered IIT.
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Finished Reading
The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri -- Great insight into NRI life. Quite moving at the end. Sluggish Pace but quite lovable and enjoyable.
Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho -- The only one to write like he can, where the author uses the story of a prostitute as a metaphor to bring out the difference between love and sex. And there is a lot more one can get from it.
The Great Indian Novel by Shashi Tharoor -- enjoyable at first but then flip past the initial 100 pages and it gets monotonous and 'Awww!!! Please Stop', you'd hear yourself say. He marries the Mahabharata with the British Raj -- and the funniness reaches a yielding point very soon, turning itself to torture.
The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai -- needs a bigger review. Maybe when I am out of this intern, I'll write a review. Winner of the Man Booker Prize 2006. And I have many interesting observations about it.
The Nude by Nergis Dalal -- It's a collection of short stories. Crappy book and Sick in many senses. (nothing porno about it -- just a few sick stories on relationships.)

Currently Reading
Above Average -- by Amitabha Bagchi, an IIT professor writing about an IITian. (Guess it's semi-autobiographical.)
120 days of Sodom -- by Marquis De Sade, the man responsible for the birth of the eponym - Sadism. (e-book)

In the shelf
To Kill a Mocking Bird -- by Harper Lee. I'd been wanting to read this one in a long, long time.
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Before I sign off, I must remind myself. One hour of Office time in writing my memoirs -- Who's gonna read them anyways??? I just like the freedom I enjoy at the workplace here. Hoping to have a great weekend. Auf Widerschen until then.

Time Flies!!!

More than a month since my last post!!!
Guess I have been procrastinating a lot. But then putting of things for a later date has become a way of life, I guess. I do have so many things to yap about, though.

-- Like I want to talk about the awfully-gone-wrong End semester exams, where I'd expected one thing and what appeared in the paper was another.

-- Like my 1 week stay at home, where each day I'd had to brave things that I'd get to hear, hidden away safely from me all through a semester so that it doesnt affect my stay at IIT.

-- Like I want to talk about my addiction to sitcoms especially Seinfeld as well as Two and a Half men. Like I want to write a post on the awesome and frighteningly witty one-liners in 2.5 men. Sample this -- "Love isn't blind. It's retarded!!!" :P

-- Like my developing cold feet to travel for my summer internship from my hometown to Bangalore on a unconfirmed AC 2 tier ticket.

-- Like my hodgy podgy trip the next day , this time, on a half confirmed ;), yes you heard it right, half confirmed, sleeper class ticket.

-- Like my waiting for my brother to pick me up at the Bangalore station and he awaiting a call from me announcing my arrival, thus resulting in my being stranded on the platform for atleast an hour or so.

-- Like my workplace here at TATA ELXSI, the energy sapping workplace, busy and reticent people all around my workstation, the workaholics adjacent my cabin, demanding superiors and an altogether different lifestyle that I've accustomed myself to.

-- Like the 20 minute drive from office to the bus stop and the 30 minute walk from the bus stop to my brother's place. Crazy!!! Ain't it???

-- Like the excruciatingly difficult "loner" times I have to spend in the evenings - immersing myself in novels, waiting for my brother to get back home so that we can have dinner together.

-- Like the interesting design project I have been assigned with - to design a kitchen cabinet with an easily accessible bottom rack, so that you wouldn't need to bend down and hurt your hips. (My mudhead is awaiting some sudden spark. But I must confess it hasn't been in working mode for the past 3 years. So you guys could help me through this. Any ideas welcome here :D)

-- Like my spending the first week trying to bypass proxies to access google and yahoo mail and sports sites that are blocked in office. (Successfully managed that in the end!!! Yippeeee :B)

-- Like I want to talk about how much I loved the first half of the movie 'Life in a METRO'. WOW !!! Sizzling, Scandalous and Unabashed Concoction of Extra Marital Affairs. Enough material to ponder over how westernized we have become and hopefully questioning whether we have crossed the line or not.

-- Like how I felt very bad for "Gogol" of "The Namesake", especially in the concluding pages. Something made my heart heavy, sorrow engulfing both the auricles and ventricles -- Feeling bad for his having to be emotionally and physically torn between two continents, for having had 4 failed relations, for not really understanding who he is and what he is meant to be.

-- Like walking around malls, window shopping with nothing in mind - gazing at Swarovski, drooling over Tag Hueur and desiring that slim piece of IPod Nano.

-- Like I want to comment about the artificial Bangalore life, the dullness that hangs in the air and the confused looks on the faces of many. One thing Bangalore has managed to do to me is feel insecure about not having a girlfriend. :P Guess that feel surfaces in anyone when in a crowd of 100 there are 40 couples at the very least!!!

So much to talk about. So little time. If I don't get back to work now, I'd be lagging behind on my schedule. Got a presentation to make this Thursday -- my first deliverable here. So back I go to work. Ciao............

P.S : Yooooo :D My first post from OFFICE!!! Deserves a celebration and a Pat!!!

Candid Confessions -- Have I hit NADIR???

>>---> Unenthusiastic(adj)
apathetic, indifferent, unresponsive, lukewarm, half-hearted, subdued, cool, unimpressed, unexcited, uninterested

Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2005. © 1993-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

No GRE Preparation that one. 'Twas my status message in Gtalk a few days back!!!

Have you ever felt so damn tied down with work and yet felt like you don't really want to move a finger but just relax??? If you'd ever felt that way, you would understand what my status was trying to convey. When a friend who was online asked me what I was up to, I quickly lamented "No work" while I actually meant, "Lots of work to do, dude, but zilch tempo".

Well, Sample My Workload -- 2 Term Papers, 1 B Plan submission, 1 Project Report, 3 Class Tests and One Huge MATLAB Program all in the span of a week. All I do is sit in front of computer doing absolutely random crap or loiter around the corridor just hoping the mood to complete (or start) the work just pops out of nowhere. Wonder how that's feasible??? I need someone to fix my mind. Anyone out there to help fix it???

>>---> One of my childhood pals reminded me the other day how down in the dumps and sulky I have been behaving of late. He says “You’ve put a plug to all your humour channels."(Wonder if I had one in the first place, though the way he was talking, he meant I had many :D) "Creativity is an offspring of humour", he goes on. So he says he notices a dearth of creativity and humour in all my actions, writings and thoughts..... I just sighed. He at least meant I had been funny and witty and creative for some part of my life.

>>---> I used to pride myself over having a strong memory..... Well, Not anymore!!! I was in a quiz the last week when a few questions I'd heard before popped up. However hard I tried, I couldn't just recall the answers. Just as the quiz master gave out the answer, I'd gasp and let out a "Ptch....Shit, I knew this. Should have got it". Damn!!!

>>---> My tummy's looking like it's going to explode. Well, what else do you expect when you gorge twice a day at the very many Nescafe outlets that have mushroomed in the campus? This puff, That sandwich, This tart, That muffin and what not, finally washed down with a refreshingly chilled Ice Tea. No lunch, No supper in our rotten mess. Just Nescafe!!! My taste buds are having a blast while my pockets are getting blasted..... Damn big hole I can see already.

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POWER is like doing DRUGS

"Power tends to corrupt.
Absolute power Corrupts absolutely."

Just the slightest hint of power seems to set off a chemical reaction in the head of any/every person bestowed with it. It's hard to stay away from sinning as a result of that "Chemical Locha". Even if it is just trivial powers you have, I'd bet, it is insanely impossible to prevent yourself from nepotism, swindling as well as quite hard maintaining a docile head all through.

Power is like doing drugs.
Once you've had little, you want more.
Once you've had it, you're no more YOU.

The past few months, I've accidentally stumbled upon seemingly innocuous and nice people -- I'd have vouched for their sincerity and steadfastness before they were in power --, being the cause of some astonishingly unimaginable acts, after power had been thrust on them. Power can change most people -- 180 degree the persona changes. One just can't help.

Those already corrupt and knowing the privileges power carries along with it go to any depths to possess it. I don't want to get any controversial but then a respectable college going guy cleaning seniors' plates for being a part of a committee of 20 people. Just Yuck!!! It's so demeaning oneself. Surely there must be better ways of making it to the destination. And if there aren't any, it only means that the system is highly flawed and needs a change.

So those of you who have mistakenly stumbled upon this and might assume "Power" in the near future -- Just review your self every now and then once you get the clout in your hands and please do keep the degree of nepotism, swindling and all that down to the bare minimum and more importantly, you would do with a sane head on your shoulders, because as I already emphasized power corrupts anybody -- You, Me or Anybody else on Planet Earth.

P.S: Power hasn't spared me either. Being the SPL (School Pupil Leader) in my class 10, I used to favour my friends in many aspects -- guilty on several charges of nepotism.

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Peace of Mind

Life offers some funny twists along it's path. It's imperative that life doesn't provide everything on a platter but then little do we realize that very fact. Of late, the innumerable twists and turns that have engulfed my life have left me bewildered.

I have been befuddled with a stream of such nasty twists -- never before did I witness such a sudden spurt of tricky situations. At first, it seemed kind of awkward. Then, to add to that, my reactions to these intricacies defied all logic. Maybe the shocking nature of these petty convolutions agitated me and pretty upset me leading to those diverse, extreme, unsolicited responses.

I haven't been the same since. Lost in Thoughts.

So many questions float in the air. Concentration has been wavering since. So the march begins to set things right.

Before I attempt putting things back on the right track, I still have many unanswered questions.

What is it that I want ???
What have I set out to achieve???
What will be the aftermath of my decisions???

Nothing is clear. Yet I am determined. I don't want trivial unimportant issues to ruin the big picture.

Still in the elusive search for PEACE OF MIND...........

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MASS BUNK

Finally!!!
My first MASS BUNK in Kgp. And it's taken 3 years. 3 long years.
Feels good. Feels I've(We've) achieved something. And I seriously don't understand why I am feeling that way.

We had our ED(Engineering Drawing) Lab of our Machine Design Course scheduled at 14:00hrs today. Most of us were in the drawing room(our lab) by around 14:10hrs. The professor arrived at 14:20hrs and wrote down a screwjack design problem on the board. He then proceeded to give some instructions and then left us with work on our hands and said he'd be back after sometime. Not one of us had a smidgen of an idea as to what was to be done regards the problem. 5 minutes passed.... and everyone of us was out of the room, sipping coffee at the Nescafe outlet. Another 5 minutes later everyone was on their way back to the room. I guess, as I type this stuff out, the professor must have just gone back to the room to see our progress. Would like to have a look at his expression for once!!!
It might not be quite right to feel so exhilarated but then most of my friends in non-IIT colleges do boast of having mass bunked very many classes. So now I got something to speak of when they begin to brag about bunking and mass bunking. Maybe my animation right now stems from my having attained those bragging rights as well.

On a totally unconnected note, I broke my spectacles yesterday while practicing for the Inter-Hall Basketball tourney. That reminds me, I was detected with myopia when I was in class 4. I've been wearing spectacles since.
I hated my glasses in the beginning. They actually brought on many nicknames and I hated my glasses for bringing me such misery. But I grew used to them(both the glasses and the nicks) and gradually started loving my specs. I can't imagine a day without them. (Yeah, I can't see anything without them for sure ;) I just wanted to put that differently.) I love them.
I had 2 spares ready. And while I was digging my cupboard and bags for the spares, I found 2 other broken ones as well as a pair of contacts to go with my spares. I haven't used contacts just for the reason that I need to feel some weight on my nose. I've become so very used to spectacles. Love you. So now I have 3 glasses for repair. Whoa!!!

Another thing I'd read just recently and wanted to share here -- This article in IIT-B's student paper. Most IITians will surely find some common chord with the feelings of the author. At least, I felt quite bitter while I was reading this. You might not agree upon wholly with what he says, but then it would be rather foolish to discard all of what he states as being ridiculous and trashy. According to me, the system does need a change -- both the professors and the students as well. A lot of mindsets need to be changed as well and drastically at that.

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Varied Hues of Life !!!

Life is so colourful. My saying that wouldn't be much of a surprise, given today is Holi -- The festival soaked with colours and to me, more the festival of freeing the spirit and revelling in the joy of it.

It's my 3rd Holi here at Kgp and maybe that was why I wasn't so very enthusiastic about it this year. So were a few other friends who'd, I might say become used to hullabaloo surrounding the event every year. So with kind of dampened spirits we just strode out, got our shirts torn (This time my shorts were spared however) and had a few photos taken. Mild Fun, I must say!!!

If Holi wasn't that fabulous, then why was I ranting about Life being so colorful??? Well, it has to do with the various other happenings in my life. And don't be mislead. Colourful doesn't always need to mean groundbreaking achievements or shout aloud stories. Just having had a myriad of emotions to go through and also a mix of events taking place made me wonder truly how varied, multi-layered and multi-coloured LIFE was turning out to be.

This summer, am headed to TATA ELXSI, Bangalore for my 2 month summer internship. It wasn't my preferred destination in any case but then that was the best intern in Bangalore that my CG could garner me. How I finally got to choose ELXSI can form the basis for another post -- a long story. There were just four guys ahead of me on the CG basis and four of them grabbed all the companies in Bangalore that paid heavily. Heights of BAD LUCK, you can say!!! Am Bestowed with loads of that. At first, I was cursing my fate, my non-commitment to studies during the first and second years and what not. But then as time goes by, I realize I am not in a bad spot after all. I am beginning to like what I got -- not that I am forcing myself to. It's just that their field of work and their workplace excite me. So finally no qualms and it's a nice feeling!!! :)
And do check out their website. I started loving the company once I saw the website!!!

Another achievement I must rant about here is my getting insanely high marks in a mid-semester examination in KGP. This midsem I almost had a cent percent score in a subject in which I badly wanted to score. A FIRST for me in many respects (in KGP). A huge MORALE BOOSTER for my endsems, but I better hope the other subjects that I'd not performed satisfactorily won't turn out to ruin my party.

Project work is on in FULL SWING!!! Deadlines to match and Loads of stuff to read. Only the mind is not willing to co-operate. I was googling and downloading stuff for my project having bunked the InterHall Basketball practice, hoping to find something substantial for my project and lo, I am here blogging it out. Which reminds me of tomorrow's deadline. So let me bid goodbye and get back to doing something more purposeful.

Auf Widersehen.

And hope to blog more regularly (and hopefully not morose stuff like this!!!)

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