Welling up for the Geeks!!!

Vanity Card from the 5th Season Finale of the sitcom The Big Bang Theory!!!

Somehow feels really really good seeing the geeky people on the show find (and get to be with) their geeky special someone. Like Chuck Lorre says, I hope you're holding someone's hand, that someone special!!! Touch wood...

Lazy Weekend

It's been a pretty lazy weekend. Just like any other I've had at Bangalore. Earlier it was the weekly Mock CAT, then the preparations for the GD/PI that kept me engaged and made me stay home. Now there is pretty much nothing on my plate but it still is somehow the same.
With just 1 more month left to savor Bangalore, I seriously hoped for some action. But it just isn't destined to be. Initially the weekend was earmarked for a few treats and a couple of parties to attend. But then a sudden, pleasant surprise had me rescheduling, read cancelling, all my previous plans and left me anticipating a fun weekend. But when you make plans, they are bound to get screwed up. It always happens with me. And get screwed, they did. Royally, in fact.
With all plans conking out, I was really left with nothing better to do but watch soaps on my lappy on a "sooper lazy Sunday". Again..... Sigh!!!

Questions???

"Do I love you because you're beautiful,
Or are you beautiful because I love you?
Am I making believe I see in you
A girl too lovely (perfect) to be really true?
Do I want you because you're wonderful
Or are you wonderful because I want you?
Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream
Or are you really as beautiful as you seem?"

Subtly engendering the true feelings of any lovelorn person, this beautiful lyrical composition from Cinderella raises a few alarming questions in my head. The chimera of the perfect person that one falls in love with and the actual person might actually be nowhere remotely similiar (as is mostly the case). So, why create the illusion in the first place?

Silent Tears!!!

Every day, I wait for you. You never come.

Yet I persevere. One day I hope you will. With this hope, I live.

The last time I waited through the wee hours of the night. It was freezing. The cold tested my guts. I was frozen to the bone. I could have so easily quit. But then the pain was obscured by the joy in persevering with the thought that you would arrive. You never did.

**********************************************

I could not sleep. You were in all my thoughts. I tried shutting you off my thoughts. I cleared my mind. I assumed I was at peace.

You somehow found the way to claw back.

When did I bestow this power upon you? Never realized all the way, that giving you this power was nothing but losing a few powers myself.

**********************************************

It looked like an old folded piece of paper. I was about to dispose it off in the dustbin. But the writing seemed familiar. I opened the paper. It was one of the many letters you had written.

In flooded a multitude of thoughts. I was caught in a time warp – transporting me along a chain of events that resulted in the letter and the events that ensued thereafter. It still is a distinct memory. I felt like I was in a trance. I scurried out of it.

How a piece of paper could affect me so much still escapes me?

I quickly tore it to shreds and slowly they floated through the air and found their way into the dustbin.

**********************************************

I wake up every morning. The first thing that I come across in the morning is your face. Consider me superstitious. I believe you bring me luck.

I’ve never told this to you.
I’ve always wanted to tell you this. I’ve wanted to tell you this and much more.

But you never gave me the chance.

***********************************************

You are guilty as charged.

I hurt myself. I inflict pain upon myself. You make me do this. The thought of you makes me do this. I journey through a spiral of ache whenever I think of you.

So doesn’t that make you the culprit?

***********************************************

You passed by. You never even noticed. I thought that was an anomaly.

The next time too, you did the same. I still wanted to consider it an aberration. Maybe you were pre-occupied with something else. One part of me told that everything wasn’t quite right but another part of me just refused to listen.

You do that even to this day. The two parts inside of me still conflict. When will you realize my existence and put an end to this tussle?

V

"But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.

Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

Howzzat for an Introduction!!! Or should I call it a fustian rant, even better a Vainglorious Vaudevillian Verbiage???

Today being X'Mas, we are lucky to have an off day. So, I was lazing through the entire day watching movies on my laptop. And as I was watching V, I couldn't help but notice how heavily the dialogues leaned towards usage of the words starting with the letter 'V'. What ingenuity I say!!! Insane Creativity and Such minute attention to detail.
Bloody Brilliant!!! Freakin' Awesome!!!

Chains!!!

Oh!!! Bugger off!!!

That was sweet......

I think I am beginning to like you.

I really really like you.

I miss you every moment you are not with me.

I think, I really think you are the one for me. Is this what is called LOVE???

I hate you. For all the pain I inflict on myself because of You.

Confused!!! :) Will you wait for me??? 'Coz I am pretty sure you are the one for me.

It was a huge mistake. I hate YOU -- for leaving me stranded.

You've made my Life miserable. You've got to take the whole blame. I HATE YOU -- from the depths.

I need help.

It's Ok. Life moves on.

I don't feel that miserable anymore. Infact, I feel fine.

I still miss you sometimes. I think of what could have been. But it still is pretty fine.

???

P.S: Watching ESOTSM multiple times can do this to you. :P Inspired from the awesome idea that is ESOTSM. :)

B'day Wishes

My Birthday is the only day of the year when my phone in a single day gets as much exercise as it normally does in almost a month. Thanks a tonne to all those who remembered the day and kept me engaged on the phone and my apologies to those that I couldn't attend to at the first go, either because I was sleeping or because I was at work.

Coming to Birthday wishes, they are of many a kind.

Some you expect. And you get. Like your parents. Your close kin. Friends in your inner circle. They've wished you each year. They continue to. They most probably will continue to(I Hope). You feel blessed to have them on your side -- willing you on in your endeavors, wishing you the very best in life. These wishes are those that fill your heart with their warmth.

Then there are some you least expect. They come from nowhere -- just like that, a bolt out of the blue. An old school mate who hasn't spoken to you in years. The guy who was your constant company when you went home for holidays. These are mostly unexpected and it thrills you that somebody so out of touch could still remember your birthday and did call to wish you. These are very very sweet and really touching gestures.

Then there are few you very much expect. But which you don't get. Maybe that person has forgotten your birthday. So you call that person and remind them that its your birthday and coax wishes out of them somehow hinting that it is your birthday. :) These wishes are slightly tricky -- there is a tinge of disappointment that your birthday has been forgotten but you are happy you've been wished finally.

And then there are those few who forget. And which you do nothing about but just remember that they'd have wished you if you turned back the clock. Maybe now they are far away. Maybe you've moved far away. These hurt -- not because they forgot but because you can sense the wane in the relation.

Quite some reflection, huh. All in all, a very Interesting Birthday this, I must say.

MAD

When you cannot be mad at somebody, no matter what they do, you know for sure that you are at the focal point of attraction in your relationship curve.

When you cannot 'stay' mad at somebody for long, then you know that your relationship has mellowed over time and that you've found optimum comfort levels with each other.

The Holy Town and my Bizarre Wish

Tirupati was one enlightening and exhilarating trip – For two reasons.

• One, Mom and Me got ample mother-son time, talking about minutiae – something we haven’t had a chance to do in a long, long time. (Yeah, she got hold of all my new girlfriends and imaginary ones at that).
  
• Two, I had a chance to rest after the hectic BTP time – tortuous to say the least.

I do not know what it is about the temple town that keeps bringing me back , but I for sure know that I will keep coming back. Tirumala, the temple town, has its own old world charm – the constructions and facilties are amongst the most modern available – but there is that radiance in the place and devotion in the air, a rarity in the modern world. For once you feel transported to a different land where the path to Nirvana replaces El Dorado for countless sinners turned devotees.

Most of the people who know me tend to mostly believe that I am an atheist. Well, this must serve to clear the airs, I am no atheist. I do pray when I have an exam or when I am mired in troubles (Just like the vast majority out there :P ).

I walked all the way to the top (from Alipiri to Tirumala), must have been around 10 kms. The ascent started with a series of steep steps for about 3kms (89.5 degrees steep it felt). Anyways, when I look back and see, I just find no reason why I walked. Was I trying to see if I was fit? Did I want to try and immerse myself in God for sometime and try experiencing his pull? I seriously don’t know. Did I ask God for a favour in making the climb??? Hell, No. If only I had. Anyways, I made interesting observations as I made the climb. You should try it once.

I have been to this place umpteen times. The mad rush just seems to keep growing year after year. You hardly get to see the Deity in the heart of the temple for 5 seconds. Yet in the mere 5 seconds of my presence in the Sanctum Sanctorum, the absolute radiance, and the spiritual high is something I always look forward to. And in those 5 seconds a small prayer indefinitely escapes my lip – thanking the Lord for what I am and asking him for a small favour each time. This is my yearly ritual with the Lord, but this time I asked him for one of the most bizarre wishes – I hope he isn’t stunned by the wackiness of my ask. Well, about the wish, I’d make it public if it is delivered, or else it’ll be our little secret.

Waves and Ice Cream

We sat there by the lake, watching the sun set, observing the tiny waves hit the embankment, whisk up a white foam and then roll back, giving way for a new set of waves to reconstruct the visual treat. A sea of people floated around us but both of us were oblivious to any other presence. We didn’t talk much to each other either but we were quietly basking in each other’s company. It was our first meeting in 2 years.

We had known each other for years. We used to live in the same neighbourhood. We would have crossed each others paths over a thousand times on the street. We acknowledged each others presence but we never spoke to each other. Wait….. We did talk once. “Here’s your kerchief”, I said, returning the one she’d dropped. She just smiled back. Just like she always did.

Then my family had to relocate to another town. We moved. A year flew by. Then suddenly, one day, out of the blue, I found a familiar sounding name in my inbox. I hurried to look at the contents.

Hi,
I hope you do remember me. It would be great to get back in touch.
Yours,
X.

My heart almost skipped a beat. Where did she get my address from? “It would be great to get back in touch”, she had said. Did she think we had been in touch?

But I was genuinely touched by the warmth and the sincerity of that cute lil’ mail. I was surprised but I liked it that she remembered me. What pains would she have gone through to get back in touch with me.

I replied back. And, so it began. We mailed each other frequently. The size of the mails increased exponentially with time. She listened to all my drivel, she advised me on most matters, she comforted me when I was blue and she heard me, no matter what I spoke about. She became the bearer of my secrets. She didn’t blabber as much as I did, but the introvert that she was, I knew she spoke minimum. Mails flew thick and fast. Before we knew what hit us, we progressed from being virtual strangers to being best buddies. She often kept telling me how lucky she was to have me as a friend. I reciprocated.

Then one day, I was to go to her town on some work. She insisted on meeting. I was excited. I thought of a 1000 things to do when I’d meet her. I could have made a list.

I suggested the lake. And there we were, having shared all our emotions on a virtual platform, unable to express ourselves as we faced each other. How Ironic it felt!!! Nothing from my list materialised. Still, it was very memorable.

We had an ice cream. She loved Butterscotch. I remembered. She smiled that I remembered.

Time flew that day. Or so it felt. It was time to bid goodbye. The heart was getting heavy. I was secretly wishing for time to come to a standstill. But then all things have to end. And so we parted ways.

We would have talked about that meeting a hundred times again -- whenever we met online. It was to be our moment of madness and also our fall back point -- The memento of our relationship. I savoured it truly. I think she did too.

Then, One day, as I was chatting with her, she told me she got engaged. I couldn’t react. I did not know how to react. I wished her the best and with her permission, I logged out. It took some time to sink in. Did that mean we could no longer be friends? It all seemed to be getting strange. Every thought of mine complicated my thinking further.

The next time I met her online, it all appeared Platonic. “Hi”, I said. “Hi”, she replied. A long bout of silence ensued. We chatted a few times after that. But we never got anywhere. Things had changed.

Nowadays, when I come online, I search for her name on my list. Just a Matter of Habit.

We cross each others paths online these days. I acknowledge her presence. I secretly hope she does too. We haven’t spoken since.

Life comes a Full Circle, I heard. Pearls of Wisdom. Take my word for it.


P.S: Thanx are due to TwilightFairy, whose posts inspire me.

P.P.S: As I reread what I've written, I have a sense of deja vu. Do I happen to have read something similar? Does it sound too cliched? Anyways, Cheers to my First Shot at Short Stories.

Who's Cuter: The Pug or The Girl ???

Advertising is an art. It either makes or breaks a brand.

I loved Hutch ads -- more so, the pug in it. When Hutch became Vodafone, off went the pug. The effervescence and the warmth in the ads went missing and Vodafone ads turned out insipid and bland --Well, until they decided to bring back the pug.

So, the Vodafone guys take the pug and add some really lilting music and come up with an amazingly cute concept. And launch a massive campaign in the midst of IPL.
Stroke of Genius!!!

It's been a hot topic for discussion since, almost as much as IPL itself. Ever since I've seen the ad, I've been humming the jingle a lot. It's so damn addictive. Listen to it and then try getting it off your lips. :)

Everyday I want to fly, stay by my side...
Everyday I want to dream, stay by my side...

Every morning I wish I could just play....
Wish the mornings would just stay...

P.S: However cute this ad maybe, the Vodafone network in Bengal sucks big time. Period. Time for some magic from the ad to rub off on the network here.

Video Courtesy of Dave/Street'Dog'/10.110.9.49 :P

Checkmate

Ever heard that every relation is a gamble.
Ask me and I'd say it 's more of a chess game than Russian Roulette.

For every relation,
There exists a first move - the opening.(One of them has to do it)
The advantage will lie in the hands of player 1 if he can make an intelligent opening.
Make a faulty opening and you surrender all advantage.
Player 2 can seize the advantage if he can counter attack.
If both don't relent and play hard, you have a stalemate situation.
You got to make sacrifices to ultimately WIN.
To come out unscathed you got to play smart.
Or else you will be CHECKMATED.

Staring down the Abyss

Hermetic.
Claustrophobic.
Petrified.

Couldn't find "One word" that could embody all that I am feeling right now. The English Lexicon still needs expansion. What's your say???

Just like with every other semester ending, I see humongous deadlines, submissions, exams and coupled with these, the rat race to stay ahead of competition. Just fathom this -- BTP, Grand Viva and EndSems. And with the kind of preparation that I have had so far, it doesn't need a psychiatrist to figure out the state of my mind right now.

Just imagine staring down the Abyss and waiting to take the (inevitable) plunge.

P.S : Did I hear Exequies, anyone???

B'coz

Not everything is as fine as it seems.
Because beneath that calm exterior might lie a Maelstrom waitin' to explode.

Not every relation is what it appears to be.
Because there still are certain emotions that haven't yet undergone the christening process.

Not everything you've heard is as dulcet as it sounds.
Because there are words that have more than a singular meaning.

Nothing is as patent as evident.
Because you can never be fully sure of anything in LIFE!!!

-- inspired from some scribblings on the walls of Dave's room

I think I maybe beginning to disappear.

“I think I maybe beginning to disappear.”
–
Fiona in the Movie Away from Her

Ah, What grace Dame Julie Christie!!! How wonderfully well she carries herself through this poignant, touching tale of how an elderly couple deals with Alzheimer’s.

Coming to the point, I found this particular quote very pertinent to our own lives. In the movie, the reference is to her fading memory as a consequence of Alzheimer’s. But I seriously think each one of us metamorphoses into newer selves as we grow over the years – the innocent child in us disappears for the burgeoning of the egotistical megalomaniac, who then further makes way for the venal mercenary and the evolution continues. Each of our selves has a latency period before we begin to grow out of them – at least that’s what I think. Anyways, the point is, I think I maybe beginning to disappear.

Falling Slowly -- Once

I have just realised that I have the HOTS for soulful haunting melodies. Wow!!! What can be more soothing than a simple and delicately lyricized hummable song........

If you had watched the telecast of the 80th Annual Academy Awards, you’d understand what I exactly want to say. The soulful rendition of “Falling Slowly” from the movie ONCE by the lead performers – Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova – caught my eye(or ear, is it???) and I have been basking in the warmth and the honey dipped innocence of this lovely song. (It’s been blaring from my speakers ever since. :) ) That the song went to win the OSCAR for best song speaks volumes for itself and limits my use of further eloquence. Just listen and enjoy .

"Whenever a door closes, there's a new one that opens."

It's upto you to find out which one and where. Period.

Orkut!!!

Keeping a TAB on people you love/admire........ or is it STALKING???

Read My Mind

Ceaseless Doubts. Vacillating Thoughts.
Last Minute Hiccups. Scares and Alarms.
Puerile Distractions. Shaken Convictions.
Panic set in. Turmoil within.
Ego Deflated. As the Final Ride Begins.

Summoning Courage. Beckoning Calm.
I ride ahead. Weathering the Storm.

Under the Realization,
that the Outcome doesn't matter,
Once you've done your part!!!

Gyaan

Disclaimer: The opinions presented herewith are entirely born out of experience – a few experienced by self and a few from what I've seen from a distance. Anybody with a differing opinion is welcome. I do not expect total consensus nor do I want to thrust my ideology through anybody's throat. Just some random musings -- all unrelated, incoherent and insane.

We are unaware that we are lying almost half the time we fib. Half the time we do not know we are lying because we warp the truth so much in our own mind.

The Human Psyche is analogous to a balloon. Blow and it inflates. Also, poke it with a tiny pin and the whole bubble deflates.

No human is ever so gracious to completely forgive another of his transgressions. How much ever one tries to forgive and forget, at the back of one’s head keep nagging those lapses.

Solitude is an absolute godsend. Though people get desolate and forlorn after a while, it gives great scope for introspection – to assess oneself and to figure out who one really is and what one really plans to do.

Every man has an unknown feminine side to him. How much of it he manages to tap surely determines how far he can get into a woman’s life.

What you have been wallowing in for a long time, you do not realize its true worth. Whatever’s out of reach is what you actually crave for.

Pick up 10 random words from a word list and categorize them into +ve and –ve based on what they convey. You’ll most probably end up with a 3:7 ratio.

P.S: Not written while in a melancholic disposition. Better termed sober or even vacuous would be apposite.