Life is full of surprises!!!

Ok. I meant Surprise Quizzes.

At least my life @ IIM A is.

PS: Too many surprises don't make many more surprises.

Contemplations

On the way home from office today, I realized something. It is precisely this time I can consider my “Alone Time” – time I get to be with none other than myself, time to think about self, coupled with a blank, idle mind devoid of work related tensions and with ample time for contemplations.

Done with work for the day, I stumble along the pavement to the bus stop. As I wait for a bus that ain’t crowded or for a cab to arrive, I am usually lost in thought. Probably, I am a thinking person. I do the math -- various permutations and combination -- of the multitude of situations and relationships involving me as also the peripheral ones. Meanwhile, a cab/bus with a vacant window seat comes by and I hop on. I take my seat, unlock the window so as to allow an optimum breeze, arising out of the vehicle in motion, to trickle along the perimeter of my face. And then, inevitably, I get lost in my train of thoughts again.

Does anybody in the world ever care about my existence?
How would it be if I didn’t exist?
What is the very purpose of this existence?
Do I feel like I belong?
Will I ever find anybody who will be my ‘someone special’?
Will I ever be anything other than single?
Will somebody ever feel possessive about me?
Why do I not have anybody to share all my feelings with?
What is it that makes somebody that ‘someone special’?
And the train of thought goes on building………………………

And then I alight from the bus, reach home and find signs of habitation. Lo, Poooffffff.....The thoughts that have built up vaporize all of a sudden and I am restored back to reality, to normalcy.

With just a few more days of office life remaining, as I write this piece, I surely think I will miss my ‘alone time’. Through all the negativism and the emotional turmoil it generates, I always wished I could avoid it. But in laughing at my pitiable state, I have been able to unearth new strengths and extract previously unfound answers about a lot many things. Whether the renowned academic rigour at WIMWI would allow me my share of contemplations daily is to wait and watch for.

Silent Tears!!!

Every day, I wait for you. You never come.

Yet I persevere. One day I hope you will. With this hope, I live.

The last time I waited through the wee hours of the night. It was freezing. The cold tested my guts. I was frozen to the bone. I could have so easily quit. But then the pain was obscured by the joy in persevering with the thought that you would arrive. You never did.

**********************************************

I could not sleep. You were in all my thoughts. I tried shutting you off my thoughts. I cleared my mind. I assumed I was at peace.

You somehow found the way to claw back.

When did I bestow this power upon you? Never realized all the way, that giving you this power was nothing but losing a few powers myself.

**********************************************

It looked like an old folded piece of paper. I was about to dispose it off in the dustbin. But the writing seemed familiar. I opened the paper. It was one of the many letters you had written.

In flooded a multitude of thoughts. I was caught in a time warp – transporting me along a chain of events that resulted in the letter and the events that ensued thereafter. It still is a distinct memory. I felt like I was in a trance. I scurried out of it.

How a piece of paper could affect me so much still escapes me?

I quickly tore it to shreds and slowly they floated through the air and found their way into the dustbin.

**********************************************

I wake up every morning. The first thing that I come across in the morning is your face. Consider me superstitious. I believe you bring me luck.

I’ve never told this to you.
I’ve always wanted to tell you this. I’ve wanted to tell you this and much more.

But you never gave me the chance.

***********************************************

You are guilty as charged.

I hurt myself. I inflict pain upon myself. You make me do this. The thought of you makes me do this. I journey through a spiral of ache whenever I think of you.

So doesn’t that make you the culprit?

***********************************************

You passed by. You never even noticed. I thought that was an anomaly.

The next time too, you did the same. I still wanted to consider it an aberration. Maybe you were pre-occupied with something else. One part of me told that everything wasn’t quite right but another part of me just refused to listen.

You do that even to this day. The two parts inside of me still conflict. When will you realize my existence and put an end to this tussle?

TGIF!!! Naah

"Friday", he prophesized, "Friday my friend, You realise how the whole universe is conspiring against you -- hatching the most devilish plot against you".

"How is that?", I queried.

"Hmm.... Here's what happens. Listen. You come to office on Friday anticipating the weekend ahead and you see loads of work dumped onto you. It is late in the evening when you see people trickling out but you know you are going to be in for a couple more hours at least. Your plans to go hit the pub scene are in a disarray. You see your ex flame online and can do nothing but feel bad the relation should've worked. The ones with whom you've made plans for the evening have dumped you to go ahead with them, albeit without you. And then at last, you somehow manage to shut the system off and move out. You trudge your way back home when you see enthusiastic couples vrooming past you on bikes, presumably to the disco. You manage to utter a 'ptch' and continue moving ahead. You realise you are left to yourself and have no company for supper and you also do not know where to go and hence decide to skip it. Further, it dawns on you that you have the weekend ahead and you have 'absolutely' nothing to do. In that moment of solitude and helplessness, you begin to realise how F**ked up you are and what a pathetic state you are in. And then it hits you and it seeps in....... "

PS : Tried reproducing verbatim.
Today I think I am a little close to knowing how he felt....

Proximity -- It's in the mind!!!

"Though we were miles apart, we used to be very close. Now that we live in the same city, we feel so far off."

Damn it!!! The Irony of Life!!!

P.S: Ever felt that way???

Staring down the Abyss

Hermetic.
Claustrophobic.
Petrified.

Couldn't find "One word" that could embody all that I am feeling right now. The English Lexicon still needs expansion. What's your say???

Just like with every other semester ending, I see humongous deadlines, submissions, exams and coupled with these, the rat race to stay ahead of competition. Just fathom this -- BTP, Grand Viva and EndSems. And with the kind of preparation that I have had so far, it doesn't need a psychiatrist to figure out the state of my mind right now.

Just imagine staring down the Abyss and waiting to take the (inevitable) plunge.

P.S : Did I hear Exequies, anyone???

"Whenever a door closes, there's a new one that opens."

It's upto you to find out which one and where. Period.

Read My Mind

Ceaseless Doubts. Vacillating Thoughts.
Last Minute Hiccups. Scares and Alarms.
Puerile Distractions. Shaken Convictions.
Panic set in. Turmoil within.
Ego Deflated. As the Final Ride Begins.

Summoning Courage. Beckoning Calm.
I ride ahead. Weathering the Storm.

Under the Realization,
that the Outcome doesn't matter,
Once you've done your part!!!

Hmmmph.....

Yaay!!! The Competitive Streak in ME is still alive !!!

Alas, the Hardworking Me is Dead. Period.

P.S: Sadly True :(
I need a kick in the arse to get me started.
Dude,Wake Up!!!

Candid Confessions -- Have I hit NADIR???

>>---> Unenthusiastic(adj)
apathetic, indifferent, unresponsive, lukewarm, half-hearted, subdued, cool, unimpressed, unexcited, uninterested

Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2005. © 1993-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

No GRE Preparation that one. 'Twas my status message in Gtalk a few days back!!!

Have you ever felt so damn tied down with work and yet felt like you don't really want to move a finger but just relax??? If you'd ever felt that way, you would understand what my status was trying to convey. When a friend who was online asked me what I was up to, I quickly lamented "No work" while I actually meant, "Lots of work to do, dude, but zilch tempo".

Well, Sample My Workload -- 2 Term Papers, 1 B Plan submission, 1 Project Report, 3 Class Tests and One Huge MATLAB Program all in the span of a week. All I do is sit in front of computer doing absolutely random crap or loiter around the corridor just hoping the mood to complete (or start) the work just pops out of nowhere. Wonder how that's feasible??? I need someone to fix my mind. Anyone out there to help fix it???

>>---> One of my childhood pals reminded me the other day how down in the dumps and sulky I have been behaving of late. He says “You’ve put a plug to all your humour channels."(Wonder if I had one in the first place, though the way he was talking, he meant I had many :D) "Creativity is an offspring of humour", he goes on. So he says he notices a dearth of creativity and humour in all my actions, writings and thoughts..... I just sighed. He at least meant I had been funny and witty and creative for some part of my life.

>>---> I used to pride myself over having a strong memory..... Well, Not anymore!!! I was in a quiz the last week when a few questions I'd heard before popped up. However hard I tried, I couldn't just recall the answers. Just as the quiz master gave out the answer, I'd gasp and let out a "Ptch....Shit, I knew this. Should have got it". Damn!!!

>>---> My tummy's looking like it's going to explode. Well, what else do you expect when you gorge twice a day at the very many Nescafe outlets that have mushroomed in the campus? This puff, That sandwich, This tart, That muffin and what not, finally washed down with a refreshingly chilled Ice Tea. No lunch, No supper in our rotten mess. Just Nescafe!!! My taste buds are having a blast while my pockets are getting blasted..... Damn big hole I can see already.

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Ordeal for a BROADBAND Connexion

Homecoming is always sweet. You are home and so you are the KING. At least I am when I come home after a long gap. Mommy just dotes on you and Pops brings all those things YOU like. Mommy doles out the recipes from her Huge Arsenal that wouldn’t fit Pops diabetes routine but nevertheless fares I’d die to gorge on. A welcome change from the bland Mess khana and other kgp stuff. Lots more love fill the day.

Two or three days pass until normalcy is restored. After the initial euphoria settles down, comes the laziness. There is not much on earth you can do but idle away your time. Watching TV and reading the odd magazine consume most of the time and then it is time for you to miss, inarguably, the most important thing in your life for the past 3 years – Kgp’s LAN. It just is something whose absence, you feel, leaves a gaping whole in your daily itinerary. You have grown so used to it and made it such an essential part of your life that its absence really hits you hard.

You feel disconnected from the entire universe and you just can’t stay with that feeling. The closest you can reach is having an internet connection at home. Even though the internet connection might not promise all the benefits that our beloved LAN provides us, something’s better than nothing, you’d agree.

So you reach for the nearest and fastest ISP provider and he promises you the connection in a day when you pay the exorbitant amount. You might argue that any measly sum would seem exorbitant when you pay nothing for the 24 hour net supply in Kgp – in addition to DC++, the source of all movies, sitcoms, series, videos, music there is on the planet. But then that’s the way it is. Whichever way you look at it, TATA INDICOM Broadband is about at least 10 times costlier than BSNL’s Dataone connection. I still rue the fact that there is no BSNL landline at home or else I would have surely preferred the latter.

2 days pass and there is no sign of any personnel from the Tata Indicom. So you go and shout your dismay there and warn and threaten him (The frustration of not being connected is what is supposed to be blamed for all those actions, I suppose). A week passes by wherein each day you barge into the ISP office and threaten and plead him for the connection. Fed up with the daily nuisance he lands up one fine day in the house and the connection is done.

Now that the internet connection has arrived, you feel a bit ecstatic. You begin surfing and then the problems begin. Half the time the server is down (I had to ring up the call centre and register 5 complaints in the span of 6 days) and the other half isn’t much better either. Fluctuating speeds and intermittent delays dampen your enthusiasm to browse. What’s even more annoying is the blank messenger window. Normally it shows one full screen view of online contacts but now with most kgpians relaxing in the comforts of their homes, the empty window makes me feel much more cheesed off. It wasn’t all that worthwhile in the end.

P.S: Typed 2 weeks ago. Troubling Net connection and now the nuisance-making computer caused the delay. Still damn frustrated.

DOWN..... OUT..... 'N' MIGHTY TIRED......

Exams can do a lot to one's psyche. They intimidate you. They terrorise you. They punch you in the face, kick you hard in the gut, effect a KO. The VOLUME of material/books you ought to study to maintain your not-so-great, yet respectable CG(Another 2 dreaded letters) and the TIME you've got on your hands are utterly dispropotionate. For once you are brought down to earth. You get to know ground realities.

Having bunked classes at a feverish pace, sitting right at the back and dreaming (in some cases, sleeping right under the professor's nose) in the very few classes you manage to drag yourself to, just for the sake of an attendance, hardly helps. It desperately feels like a Failed Journey, even before you take-off. Exams are still those dreaded few letters themselves...."EXAMS".

Exams make you sit down and study. For once you open your books. For once you feel you are in HERE with a purpose. You get reminded you are here to get moulded into a MANUFACTURING ENGINEER. And then you realise, you weren't meant to take this shit.

Huh!!! How one wished there weren't any exams. There are far better ways to grade a person, I believe. And I stubbornly believe that CG isn't a true reflection of either a person's technical skills, expertise, grip on the subject, his potential or ability. It might be an indicator of the hardwork he'd put in. Even that can't be said for sure. A Controversial Topic to deal with. I agree. But then I'd really like some other alternative for these exams. Being a Junior Student right now, I shouldn't be sulking and fretting over all these. 5th semester has come to a close and there are 3 more semesters to go. Entering the most crucial phase of my Course(Training and Placement right ahead), I just need to brace myself, command all energy and stamina, race the pack already a fair distance ahead of me and hopefully put up a good fight. By now, you must be saying, "Stop sulking and Put up a fight you @$$."

YEAH!!! I DID. I did it this time around. Relax. It was just a good fight though. I concentrated all my energies, studied hard, put the thoughts behind, worked my ass off on all courses -- only during the exam time though, I must remind. But then I am not sure if it was worth it. The distance will still remain. The gap just isn't looking like its going to diminish. I even didn't go for Ravi's Birthday treat. (Sorry DUDE!!! I wasn't bent on disrupting your party plans but then it just didn't fit into my scheme of things.) But then even though I sound like a soldier wounded or a defeated boxer I am really not worrying about the result. It just feels good having given your best. It was just for one week, I know. But it has been long since I’d done that and it’s quite satisfying. The "working off my ass" has also left me DOWN…. OUT…. And MIGHTY TIRED.

I'd be quite happy if I don't just slip up though...Well, even that isn't in my hands. To hell with the results.........Now for some rest!!!

P.S : The actual version I'd written was quite big and infact boring (Not that this isn't). Hence I edited an incident I'd written about out of this and reposted it below. If you aren't exhausted having read this crap, then test the limits of your patience. See if you can finish the crap below this too.....

Miss You Grandpa

God's finger touched him, and he slept.
--Alfred Lord Tennyson

On the 28th of October 2006, God looked around Heavens and sensed something missing. His garden felt the need of a fragrant flower – a flower that would radiate out sufficient warmth, love and compassion.

He looked upon Mother Earth and found your loving face.

God was Jealous; He wanted you to grace the heavens.
God wanted you in His Kingdom; He wanted you to share your love up there.

Henceforth his angel rode to earth: to pick you and place you in your rightful place – God’s heavenly abode.

You might physically be no more with us, but then you will remain in our memories forever and ever.

I will Miss you Grandpa.

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The Void created by your absence will be hard to fill. But your teachings and love will carry me throughout. I just want to let it be known what a fabulous Grandpa you had been!!! Thank you Grandpa for the many things you taught me in life, for caring for me, for listening to me.

P.S : I do not know if it is right or wrong to express my sincere sentiments – esp. during my grief – in a forum as open and public as this. But since I couldn’t be beside the person I so very loved during his last moments has gotten me so forlorn. I do not even know how he would feel reading this from the heavens up above. I desperately feel like talking to him – The fact that he is no more only is intensifying the feeling. Such an irony.

Am getting so damn nostalgic as well. Thoughts don’t cease. Time seems like it has come to a standstill. Just can’t wait till I get home.

KFC, DON 'n' BAD LUCK

These 3 words aptly sum up our Friday’s Kolkata trip. What happened the last time ten of us embarked on a Kolkata journey – presumably for some shopping and watching RDB – ended up as a total disaster. An Understatement, I know. So with a lot of apprehension and doubt as to how the trip would turn out, we started off -- Sivakin, Rampage n ME. Even Mom kept cautioning me the whole time I was with her on the phone, the day before we set out, and that only added to the perplexity of my psyche.


After a night out and catching the Howrah Mail at 3’O clock in the morning, we reached Kolkata in the wee hours early on Friday. After a brief snack at the station, we rushed off to the passport office to find ourselves right at the head of a queue that gradually grew till 10, which was when the office opened itself.
Four hours of standing in the queue wasn’t actually as agonizing as I had expected it to be. Gossip and petty talk carried us through the 4 hours and it was quick work at the office.




Next stop : City Center, Kolkata – The most happening place in the city. First thing we did on reaching the City Centre was book tickets for DON. I was actually astounded that we could manage tickets for an SRK movie – that too first day and that too the last rows.



KFC
With growling stomachs (the effect of spending almost 6 hours in a queue), the next thing on our minds was to fill our stomachs and there was always just one hang out on my mind – KFC. Having heard so much about KFC and its’ lovely burgers, I just couldn’t resist not being there. One KFC coupled with a Zinger Burger washed down with a Pepsi was all it took to fill my stomach. It was absolutely delicious – heavenly and appetizing. The Zinger Burger was a feast to the gastronomic senses as was the chicken. I can just go on yapping and raving about the burger. But I prefer to keep it short. If you are a non veggie and you do love chicken, do try out the combo I mentioned in KFC. Just recalling the experience is enough to cause salivation and wanting to have that heavenly bite once again. KFC – I will be coming back soon.

Later some heavy duty shopping for Formals, Tees and Greetings and it was time to face the DON.

DON
Less said about the movie, the better.
Dubious Screenplay. Unnecessary Twists and that too a plethora of unwarranted such, the last of which truly stretches the limits and tests your nerves. SRK’s hamming. Half Baked Characters. Illogical Plot. One can just go on……….
Result : I dozed off in the theatre. Sounds weird but True. I felt so sick and miserable for having spent 200 big bucks on such a SISSY of a movie trying to pass off as a STUD. A complete DUD.
The only reprise was the cinematography. Take a peek at DON if you are planning a trip to Malaysia in the future. You will surely get a wonderful preview of the fabulous locales there. Otherwise stay home and enjoy. Just don’t kill your senses for some non-sense.

Rampage and Siva at City Center

BAD LUCK
So when we purchased a passenger ticket only to find the last passenger leave (We were stuck in a traffic jam), we had to board the Howrah-Chennai Mail. With not enough money to pay for the Sleeper Class, we adjusted ourselves and boarded the General Compartment. It was almost 12 in the night when we alighted at Kharagpur. We were very happy as the whole trip went off without any glitches. But then Kolkata, Bad Luck and Myself seem synonymous… Here’s what happened the last time we went to Kolkata. I lost my mobile and Siva fell off a running a train and it was raining disasters that day.
Generally something untoward had to happen and it did. The Ticket Inspector at the station was quick enough to pounce on us and caught us for boarding the wrong train. He threatened us with words like charge sheet, magistrate, police and stuff – stuff that could send jitters through any civilized civilian aware of the weight of the words. Send Shivers through the spine… It did. After a lot of pleading and coaxing and apologizing, we were let off with a fine of Rs.200 per person (We had to use the ATM). How nice would it have been had we shelled out the Rs.80 per person for a sleeper class seat which the TTE politely told us was the actual fare. We were running short on cash and had to ditch that for a General Class Travel and found our way to a fine. But then Ifs and Buts don’t accomplish much other than compound the misery and instigate the pain.
Though we had a satisfying trip all along, the BAD LUCK in the end made us trudge back with a lump in the throat – a sense of déjà vu.

Which reminds me, the day Putta’s cycle went missing my status message in Gtalk read “I seem to be a BAD LUCK mascot” and I was only prophesizing the future.

Dunno Why???

Why???

Why do I feel like blogging right now, when I have loads of stuff to learn for tomorrow’s exam and when I absolutely have no idea as to what fate awaits me during tomorrow’s exam?

Why does it feel like browsing the net when I know that I stand to gain much more if I studied for the ongoing exams?

Why does it feel like listening to James Blunt’s -- “You’re beautiful” again and again, when I have absolutely no suicidal tendencies or even a ‘girlfriend’ – forget her deserting me for someone else?

Why do I find it so burdensome to hold my attention and not let my thoughts wander during any course lecture – be it engrossing or boring?

Why do I fear failure so much when actually the desire to succeed burns so bright deep down inside of me?

Why do I feel so utterly claustrophobic—lonely and tied up—, when, ironically, I am in fact in the company of spirited, animated, bubbly and vivacious friends?

Why do I end up plastering a plastic smile across my sullen face when in others’ company?

Why does it feel so difficult to trust anybody when all I desire is someone to share my feelings and lighten up my heart?

Why does it feel so onerous to forget things that I ought to have forgotten a long time ago?

Why is it so difficult to break out of that pessimistic outlook I get into occasionally—for short time spans— when I know that it ain’t right and that too when I am completely aware of my malfeasance?

Why does it feel like dialing that number when I know the repercussions that will arise out of my actions will be quite severe?

Why does she feel so close to me and yet so isolated from me?

Why does the heart yearn to go home when I know that it isn’t possible until certain things fall in place?

Why do tears trickle out of my eyes and damp my pillow when I am on my cot and get lost in thoughts, when I know the majority residing in the time-zone I do are in a deep slumber?

Why???

Why then does it feel so???

Hurt........................

Yeah..... Seriously Hurt!!!!!! Don't ever ask me why??? Many incidents to quote...!!!

Some Good words backfired.............

Someone I deeply respect made an unwanted, inexpedient statement..........

Some trust I placed in another was compeletly misplaced...........

Some really good, straight forward work went unnoticed and unappreciated........

Was Hurt as a result of Lack of Faith in me...........

Different Situations... Different Feelings.... The HURT stays.. rather hurts a lot.... Life's looking like its in the doldrums, full of disillusionment.......... Who is going to exonerate me??? When will life return back to normal???

Oh! Lord.... Please spare me this torture... get me out of this pain, this anguish, this wretchedness.....!!! All I can do is hope this is a Delusion. Or is it my fallacy???

Time I stop complaining and time to get back to some serious work!!! Maybe by the time I make my next post, I will be back to normal...............

Lots of Trouble Blogging

Changed my template yesterday... created a few links.... And all the time i get to see that 403-Forbidden Error page. Lots of encounters with that dreaded page the past 2 days. For the past half an hour, I've made 3 valiant attempts to post the lyrics of MJ's Heal the world -- once it showed a double entry in the blog -- erased those 2 without saving, once the 403 error and the other time I switched to explorer from my trusted Firefox and it ended prematurely quoting some runtime error. Where does the fault lie??? Is it the proxy creating problems or is it the bad server at blogger.com??? Or could the problem be with Internet Explorer or with the blogger himself??? Whatever be it, the post is jinxed. But I will make one more attempt tomorrow -- to post the jinxed article. It's too late(uh huh!!! 4 in the morning is to be called early or late???) to give myself another go at it.

Lots of eventful happenings the past few days. Holi today-- The festival brings with it all those colours -- quite some fun spraying colours on one another. My vest was torn to tatters... Thank God, My short was spared. Had a photo session with those colourful bodies and faces. Well, Slept all day after the Holi bash. Woke up to write the short story for the MOTOFWRD competition - I didn't want to give myself a chance to feel bad for not taking a shot at a competition where the first prize is worth 4 lakhs and also 2 months internship at MOTOROLA. All we needed to do was write a short story or an essay envisioning the future of Seamless Mobility - Don't ask me what that means. Came up with a sick story. Will post it here soon. First let me get a few reviews on that. I had to make myself creative for 30 mins -- How sick can that be??? And after sweating out my grey caps for half an hour, I framed the story in words in about 1 hour -- Man, Things like these can get really tiresome. Just as I submit and begin to relax I get this call for BASKI Practice. Whacko Guys we are... Practice at 11 in the night till 2... And at 4 on the comp blogging it out. Wacky.... Not quite!!!

Now for some serious campus news . Heard that our SSM - the Hall's Second senate member after the Happa or the Hall Prez -- is going to MIT. 3 cheers to Reddy!!! Well even RP's SSM is going to MIT for further studies. Well, What's with these SSM's??? Feels great to know people around you are scaling new peaks. But at the same time there's that insecurity... You begin to think of your future.... Where will I be??? Am I good enough??? Whatever be God's will, Just moving forward with time, hoping for the best. Once again, 3 cheers to Reddy... even tho' he might never ever have a look at my blog.

Confused!!!!!!!

Confused!!! Now what do I write...... Saw Crash yesterday in the afternoon after a "We've got nothing to do here" Forming Lab and then later Saw RDB early morning today(or late night yesterday) for the first time (The DVDrip was made available on our beloved DC++ only yesterday and I had to see it the day it was there... No excuses)-- Yeah that sick RANG DE BASANTI.... maybe that is why I am confused.

How could people lap up a movie with such a blatantly false message??? What the director was trying to put across got me really mad. Watching Aamir Khan as a college going punk(Where's the college shown in the first place???), lovey-dovey Siddarth with that "I-dunno-what-to-do-n-I-dontcare" looks got me very nauseant. And people are calling it the best thing ever coming out of Bollywood. Not a patch on some of my most loved Hindi movies (DCH, HumTum, Swades, Bluffmaster.... in no specific order). Was a bad choice I felt. (Saw this one from 12 to 3 in the night.... was yawning all through and was scratching my head at the intermission point as to what the story was that far!!!). Could have utilised the time a little bit better -- obviously by watching some better movie. I know I need to be ready for some brickbats for saying so much.... But I think there are enough people of my tribe -- those who hate RDB fiercely.

I am not done with this. Will come out with an extensive review of RDB, Crash and Brokeback Mountain -- the most talked about movies in the recent past -- RDB
for its message to the youth, Crash for winning the best movie Oscar and Brokeback for losing to Crash even after being a firm favourite. I have seen Crash and RDB. So Brokeback soon -- Promise you will not need to wait much before that is out!!!

And, meanwhile Capote and Walk The Line can wait for sometime.

Still Confused!!!! What do I further write about..........

Aravind says, "Babu, Inkosari aa social service messageslu rasi blog lo mammalni champaku ra" (Please dont kill us with your social messages one more time.)

As a result of my previous post on the BLANK NOISE PROJECT, I have been getting diverse reactions. People are like "When have you become a saint???". "Hey these don't suit you at all." For the people mocking me for being a saint... I am no saint but I am doing whatever little I can. And there are people who genuinely seem to appreciate the effort. Thanks a lot. I can also find many like me opening their eyes as to whats happening around.

I am also getting to know new things. A few friends, ofcourse females, have either mailed or called up, laughed at my ignorance, and told me things they have never ever told -- about the experiences they have had. Well, that wasn't so unexpected I guess. "How could you have not bothered about this so long???", asked one friend. Well, guess I opened my eyes right now.

Ok Ok enough of moral lessons. Otherwise Aravind is gonna smack me on my head I guess. He'd already be fuming over my rubbishing RDB and then for also for writing this crap here.

Been following news on IIM-A's Day Zero -- The first day of placement on the elite campus. I'd love to be there someday as a proud student of the ginormous institute(Have a lot of time before I can fulfil that dream and meanwhile, am ardently following my seniors going through the GD and interview phase). There has been a new recruitment complex constructed for the process, keeping the mediapersons away. Yet there is enough news on the net speaking about the salaries offered. Just have a look at the companies on Day Zero -- Lehman Brothers, McKinsey and Co, Barclays, Credit Suisse Boston, Deutsche Bank, Merrill Lynch, USB Warburg Pincus, Bain & Co, ABN Amro Singapore, Barings Bank, Boston Consulting Group, Booz Allen Hamilton, BP Singapore, Citigroup,AT Kearney and we dunno who else.

Whopping pay packets and Glittering Career prospects. Highest of $1,85,000 prospective offer from Barings Bank and a highest domestic pay of Rs 20 lakh... That's big bucks for sure. 100 offers from around 20 companies and thats the status after Day Zero. Who wouldn't want to be there -- I would give my everything to be there. Though ethically speaking you ought to be there for the love of doing an MBA and not the money!!! I agree, but the pay packets play a lot on your mind I guess. Anyways I always thought of doing my MBA. Sometimes I regret having taken to the sciences after class 10. Family pride and prestige drove me away from my love -- humanities and economics. Otherwise I would have given CAT last november. Though I sometimes regret not having done humanities, I am happy with myself. You don't need to complain being an IITian. Maybe the charisma of this great institute attracted me enough to let leave my true love.

Was also looking at the India England Scorecard at cricinfo. Sachin Tendulkar fails once again in the first innings in the second test vs England at Mohali.... I Don't follow cricket upclose. But then I love the way this man carries himself on and off the field. 2 of my most loved sportsmen -- Sachin and Pete Sampras -- have one thing in common. They speak less and do all their talking on the field, with the bat and the racquet, respectively. And I love them for that. Well, Sachin!!! It happens always I guess. 2 hundreds in 2 years is too little for this champion batsman. Hit back fast at the earliest, Sachin. Just can't see you struggling out there.

Well, That brings me to the other legend -- Michael Schumacher. Another F1 season got underway yesterday with the Bahrain Grand Prix. And Yippeee!!! Schumacher grabs pole and teammate Felipe Massa sharing the front row with him. Way to go Ferrari. The staunch Schumi n Ferrari fan that I am, couldn't have asked for a better start for the season. Schumi, Just go on firing all cylinders and hopefully the Driver's and Constructor's Championship will be back at the Scuderia soon.

I never miss out on a F1 race when I am home and Dad never goes without taking a dig at me, perplexed by my love for the sport. "How come do you feel like watching the same car whizz past over and over on a clean road with almost no traffic repeatedly???", he asks. I got no answers but then I love the sport and thats the bottomline.

Still Confused!!! Why do I need to put up such a confused skewed concoction of likes, hates, life, moral values, sports, sportsmen and what not!!! Hopelessly confused.. Confused with life. Maybe I have nothing to do and thats why I am confused!!! So am I jobless???

Haan, exactly...... exactly that word sums it all up -- Jobless. Think I do know that I have a Mine Surveying Lab test Monday and an extract to write for the MOTOFWRD competition. Still...... I can call myself Jobless I guess. In IIT everyone's jobless all the time I guess -- Nothing seems to bother us -- Anyways.... A movie would be fine now to satiate my joblessness right now.